Showing posts with label trial. Show all posts
Showing posts with label trial. Show all posts

December 13, 2007

Why is Change so Scary?

Why is the thought of change, any change, such a frightening one? The thought of change, especially big change is one that evokes in me stomach churning nausea, which could be misinterpreted as the excited butterfly-feeling also, but I know better. What is it about big changes that we don't want to deal with? Is it the difficulty? The unfamiliarity? Is it a fear that we can't return to where we were? Perhaps it is the idea of the commitment to the change that is the source of apprehension. All I know is I have been presented a very unexpected opportunity, and I am terrified to seize it, and terrified to blow it simultaneously. I feel split in two and held together with inferior glue. Like I could just split in half at any given moment. I suppose it is a good thing that I simply don't have time for halving myself right now. This chance requires a drastic change in my school schedule, one that will require me to really manage my time and energy in the most efficient manner, and one that will require more time than I gave to school in this last year, while continuing to work. It is nerve wracking and has the potential to be hugely life changing for myself and my husband. Despite the fearful butterflies, I am trying my best to keep my head on straight, my eyes open to all the goals that need to be met to keep all the doors wide open for decision making a bit down the road.